Normally, I love working. My jobs are the best! It would only be better if I was so successful with make up that I could do that full time!
But today, I'm a bit bummed. When you work as a make up artist, you work a lot of weddings. And let me tell you, there is nothing more depressing than a wedding for a single gal!
Everytime a friend or acquaintance gets engaged, they come to me and while I'm excited to have a make up job to add to the ol' portfolio, I am a bit saddened because I don't even date. Haha. Which is pretty pathetic for a 20 year old. So I'm trying to cheer myself up...again...this seems to be a common theme lol.
SUBJECTS TO ENCITE HAPPINESS!!!
- Puppies. Especially this one.
Could this be love??
2. Getting hired to work 2 weddings all in the same week!! Wait, they aren't in the same week, I was contacted by 2 brides...oh you get the picture! Haha. Bring on the Brides!!
3. My friend Stephanie said I'm very stylish...even on a day where I feel underwhelming pretty and stylish. I love friends who are so giving with their compliments.
4. My friend Matt is coming home for almost a month before he goes to Italy. I'm sad he's going away because he's my best friend, but I'm so happy he gets to be here for a really long time before he's gone for 3 years.
5. The realization that I don't always have to be so chipper! I can be sad some days and it's OK. I think I've tried so hard to be happy around people so that everyone will like me, but it's just not going to happen. I've especially tried to be happy for some of my newer friends because I never want them to know the sad side of myself, but this is an unrealistic goal to have. I've tried to be the cheerful one, and now I think they think I'm kind of dingy and to be honest, I'm pretty sensitive. And while I'm not very smart when it comes to certain subjects...ok a lot of subjects hahaha, I don't want to be treated like I couldn't possibly understand the deeper subjects. I've had a really great life, but I still struggle with things. For instance, even in my small group where I feel very comfortable, sometimes I get the feeling that I'm annoying people and I'll cut myself off from them so they won't have to be annoyed by me. My mom refers to it as "my wall." Hahaha. But she's right, and it's hard to take down the "wall" when it is so comfortable to never be close to people. You can't ever be hurt when you never have a close friend. And I've been hurt the most by people who called me their best friend.
Wow, this post took a really depressing turn!! That was not my intention lol. To leave on a higher note, these sad days are not as few and as far between as I'd like, but I'm working on it! I know that these feelings are not from God and I am constantly needing to seek him to shake off my self-doubt.
After all, I have so much to be grateful for. I have such an amazing family and the friends I do keep are the best you could ever ask for. I get to have leftover Chinese food and diet Dr. Pepper for lunch and when I get home I'm going to maybe do some make up, or maybe just relax with my fam. And tomorrow, and I get to see a dear friend.
To quote my mother: "Every little girl should be told she's beautiful and feel like a princess...even if she's not."
Hahahaa you gotta love her, she's usually right!
I'd say I'm pretty stinkin' blessed.
Hoping you are feeling beautiful and loved on this beautiful Saturday, Morgan.
2 comments:
Is it intrusive for me to read your blog? I hope not because I enjoy it, but if it is just say so and I will stop! For the record, I have never once been annoyed by you during group, and you were very much missed last night.
I am so so familiar with many, perhaps maybe even ALL of the feelings you've expressed here. Well...except EVERY day for me feels underwhelming pretty and stylish. To feel otherwise would require me to overcome my overwhelming laziness!
Not at all, I'm glad people are reading it! And you're so not ugly, Holly! Maddie and I were just talking about how awesome and pretty you are the other day!
Post a Comment