I was sitting here at work, feeling sorry for myself, because things don't really feel like they're going anywhere.

I feel very much like a stagnant being, and I find myself unsatisfied and, ok, more than a little pathetic.

Here I am, in this summer where nothing will change.

Not that it won't be worth it:

I will be going to Italy and then coming home and starting esthetician school.

It will be a new part of my life!

I guess I am just impatient for it.

I think I've been counting on my trip to Italy to change me.

There are a lot of things I expected from it that I wouldn't put online.

I know, I know, I said I'd be honest!

But some things are too embarrassing for even me to admit.

I guess I thought I would be a different person: more adventurous, happier...

You get the gist.

I am starting to realize that nothing I do on the outside, like traveling, changing my hair color, getting new clothes, whatever, will make much of a difference.

I need to accept that Italy and all that this trip represents to me is just that:

A trip that I am lucky to go on.

I have to change myself from the inside to ever feel complete.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't go to God about this, but that's exactly who I need to turn to when I feel down and out.

On a much lighter note, I would like to list out why today is going to be an awesome day:

1. I have leftover pizza for lunch...which is pretty much my favorite type of pizza! haha

2. I have a photo shoot with BRC Photography. Benita, the owner/photographer is so wonderfully talented. I really enjoy working with her and seeing her vision come together.

3. I really like my hair today. Ok, that's super shallow haha, but I'm growing it out and I don't always like it!!

4. I am going to get through today, this work shift, the shoot, the drive home, and I'm going to go to bed and tomorrow will be a new day.

With all my love, Morgan