Green With Envy!

I struggle with keeping my jealousy under control. A lot. Lol.

I've gotten a lot better at it as I've gotten older and it's much easier to ignore. But when I was younger...wow, did I embarass myself A LOT.

I remember I had a best friend from 6th-8th grade and she was a great friend to me. People asked us all the time if we were twins or sisters because A) We looked a lot alike and B) We were always together. But I would always sneak in mean comments about her clothes and how rich she was and I was just a jerk. Period. She never did anything wrong, I was just a jealous mess because she was so stylish and everyone liked her. Well eventually, she didn't wanna be friends with me and I don't blame her. I fell in with a group of girls who were trouble and the rest is some bad middle school cliches haha.

Oh, Lord, once I had a bad crush on this guy, we'll call him Bill, and Bill went for my beautiful not-stuck-in-an-awkward-stage best friend. Well, it wasn't her fault she was so gorgeous and easy to talk to! I was really upset though and said some pretty hurtful things! Since then we've never been close because I was so overcome with my jealousy.

Point is, now I'm no londer envious of clothes or boys, well sometimes boys lol, because I'm much more secure in myself. Now it's more like, "Wow, she's such a good make up artist. I wish I was that good!" or "She seems really happy with her boyfriend. I wish I had someone, too!" I don't even really want a boyfriend; I want someone that is my best friend and I just happen to think he's hot and I'm comfortable around him! Hahahaha. I was starting to feel down about it, but it was like God sent me an epiphany:

"One day, I'll be that happy, too."

One day, I'll have a great boyfriend or marriage, or maybe I'll be happily single and I won't care! One day, people might be jealous of me because they want to be as good at make up artistry as I am. I just have to keep my head up, keep practicing and keep living my life the way God wants me to! Plus, I find that if I want something, he has something else (but something better!) in mind.

I don't mind waiting around, because I know one day it's gonna work itself out. I may not be in a physical awkward stage, but my life itself is! I just have to wait it out for a few years (Gosh, I hope it's not as long as puberty!!) and trust that everything will be ok.

I hope this made someone's day seem a little brighter! And if it doesn't, I suggest a nap, some chicken noodle soup and some reality TV! Oh, wait, that's for a cold. Well, whatever, it can cure bummed-out-ness too! Haha

With all my love, Morgan