My Pursuit of Happyness

Yes, I did spell "happiness" wrong on purpose! Haha.

My dear 5 readers, I must make an announcement.

This is the beginning of my pursuit of happiness.

I truly believe my unhappiness is not normal.

I shouldn't be hung up on something that happened a year ago.

I believe that inner joy can only come from God.

And God has truly blessed me but I still don't know how to allow myself to be happy.

I was thinking about it last night and thought to myself:

"Self, now you are happy like 90% of the time. It is only when you allow yourself to dwell on stupid stuff in the past that you have bad days."

So in my pursuit of happyness, I have even talked to my mom about seeking help from a pro.

This is so embarassing for me to put out there for you all to read, but I am very much ready to be happy. I want to let go of everything and be myself again.

I haven't felt like myself in a long time.

So here is my declaration: I will follow my own advice and tell myself I am happy.

But I also have a plan. You know I love lists!!!

Morgan's Game Plan!!!

1. Do something new every week. I would say everyday, but let's take one step at a time here! Haha

2. Do something nice for someone else everyday. This I think is even more so important than my own happiness. I want it to spread to everyone else.

3. Be the best student, daughter, sister, friend, whatever, I can be. I have seriously neglected my friendships and relationships with people and that isn't tolerable anymore.

4. Do something I don't want to do as often as possible. I tend to avoid social situations, anything new or scary, etc. For instance, I have started to volunteer at SWITCH, which is Youth group at Life Church and I constantly think of excuses not to go. Also, I got a makeup job with a photographer this weekend and even though I want to go, I immediately thought of a reason not to go. And it's only because I don't know what to expect!

5. Start checking things off my Bucket List. I am sitting around, wasting my life, and that has got to change. I need to do something at least once a month. This may increase once I graduate from college.

6. I have somehow got to allow myself to be happy. I deserve to be.

With all my love, Morgan

Some Big News Brought to You By My Family!

Well, I have been so busy this semester. I don't remember if I told you, my dear 5 readers, but I may get to walk at graduation this May, and just take my last two classes this summer and get my diploma in August. Well, even BIGGER stuff has gone down! Not for me, but for my sister, Maddie!

You might not be able to see it very well, but my little sister is the new Miss Choctaw 2012!!!!
I'm so happy for her. She has had a tough senior year so far, and she has risen above all of negativity to receive this title. Also, she is the new recipient of the Freshman Achievement Scholarship (I think that's its' name) at UCO...which is the BIGGEST tuition waiver scholarship they offer! I'm so proud of her. She is so deserving of this scholarship. She worked her tail off in drama, volunteering, and most importantly her academics. What person actually elects to take physics when they're not especially gifted in math anyway??? Hahah!
 It almost makes me want to cry because I know she is going to be so successful and happy and I feel like this title and scholarship are her chance at starting fresh and becoming an adult.
Here's a few more pics...I did her hair and makeup.

Casual Wear, after crowning!

Maddie, Me holding up the Dress haha and Miss Choctaw 2011 Melody High marveling at her choice of foot wear for Formal wear! Haha. The dress was too long, so we decided on the highest heels we have! Hahaha

My other hair/makeup appointment, Kenzie Kulig! She is GORGEOUS!!

My two clients before formal wear!

As you can tell, I had such a great time and am very proud of not only my sister, but the other ladies.

I think pageants are often seen as a shallow event. I'm guilty of this thinking too! Ha!

But it takes a lot of guts to get up there and strut your stuff in front of people being paid to judge you!

With all my love, Morgan

To Be Honest...

You've probably seen those all over Facebook at some time or another.

TBH! Like my status! Hahaha. I'm "friends" with some of my 14 year old sister's friends on Facebook and I love to read their posts...always so dramatic and they somehow manage to use more exclamation points than I do! Which is a pretty big accomplishment I think hahaha.

As a blogger with at least 6 readers (Woo-hoo! hahaha) I have always tried to maintain my honesty with my readers. I like to think of us as friends..in a weird, "Never actually try to contact me" way!

So here's some honesty for you guys:

I wish today was Thursday so I could call this Truthful Thursday but instead it is.....

MORGAN'S TRUTHFUL FRIDAYS!!!!

So I suppose number one is...I'm feeling really anxious to be finishing school.

Now I actually have to do something with my life! Haha. I thought I had at least 2 more years to figure things out, but with my recent decision to pursue makeup full time, I will not be getting a degree in Social Studies Education anymore.

School was a great thing to hide behind.

Something that I feel ashamed about is...feeling sad.

Now hold on, let me explain!

I feel like I have a lot of great things going for me: I've been talking to lots of photographers and even have a shoot booked for Tuesday morning. No, not the store!! Haha. I'm about to finish school, and lots of other things I don't need to list.

I love this quote from one of my favorite books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

And I know exactly how that feels! I feel so ingrateful because I have EVERYTHING and I'm still sad.

I just think it makes no sense.

Now, I'm not gonna lie, it has been a lot better lately. I think all of this is a mixture of anxiety about the future (which is stupid because God has a handle on it), school, and a couple of other things.

Recently, I found out my sister might move to Ohio for school.

I don't want to sound all "emo middle school kid" or anything, but I really don't want her to go because I have already lost one best friend and I'm not sure what I would do if I only saw her at holidays and the summer time.

I feel like when she leaves, then that's the last time my siblings and parents will all live together.

And I'm just not ready for that.

Plus, I'm the oldest...shouldn't I be the first to leave?

I promise I'll think of something ultra fun for the next post...but to be honest, I am physically exhausted and I've been doing homework all day so now my brain is tired too! haha.

With all my love on this beautiful Oklahoma day, Morgan

Things To Do In Your Life

I've been really thinking about things I'd like to do.
I've talked about this before and everytime I think of all the exciting things this world offers I just get so pumped!! Haha. I know God has put them all here and is probably thinking, "Well, Duh there are great things about the world...I MADE it!" Hahaha.
Here is a list (because you know I love lists!!) of the...

To Do List...of Your Life!

Hahaha! Here are the things I personally think everyone should do.

Again, this is my PERSONAL opinion, so if you disagree then I'm sorry but I'm not changing my list! Haha

1. Get Obsessed. For me, it's the Hunger Games. I love the books. I'm officially changing my future husband list to "Must Be Peeta Mellark, or exactly like Peeta Mellark."

Mmmhhhmmm! Josh Hutcherson as Peeta! Ohhhh yeaaahhh! Haha

I already have my tickets for the midnight premiere and I have picked out my nerdy fan shirt!

The point is, I have a lot of fun obsessing over the Hunger Games. Sometimes with my sisters, sometimes my mom, and sometimes total strangers! Hahaha.

So find something, obsess, freak out, have fun.

2. Do something weird to your hair.

I love weird hair.

Is that not so cool??

I'm about to do something weird to mine...I'll be sure to post pics!!

3. Go somewhere you've never been at least once a year.

This year, I get to go to Italy but I would like to go a few other places just in Oklahoma this summer.

I've been thinking about going up north to check out these Indian burial mounds...which, I know, to a normal person that sounds terrible but I'm kind of interested!! Also, the Oklahoma Natural History Museum...and the one museum in OKC near the Zoo; it has the largest collection of Nazi items in the U.S. I've heard!

Click here to see the 45th Infantry Museum that I wanna go to!

4. Read the Bible.

I think it is important, for more than the regular Bible school lessons. I love religious studies. I like to research other religions, too! I just finished one about the Hindu god Shiva and it was really interesting.

I think the Bible is really interesting to read because I love history and can tie other knowledge in.

For instance, the city of Caesarea is mentioned several times. It seems like there might have been two versions of it. One built by Herod, and the other by Juba II and Cleopatra Selene, who was Cleopatra's only daughter. The Ptolemy line died with her. Both cities were named for Caesar Augustus, since both men were "client kings." Anyway, not to bore you to tears or anything haha.

I just love the history that ties in!

There's Juba! Hahaha

5. Get a massage.

Why do I say this random and kind of shallow thing?

Because I just bought my first massage off of Groupon!!! Hahaha.

I love Groupon...so much!!

I hope everyone has a great day!

Words of wisdom for your work:

"Failure is an event, never a person." -Craig Groeschel, Life Church

With all my love, Morgan

Time For a Change.

The time has come for a change.
My goodness, I'm so restless and bored with everything lately.
I know, I sound so ingrateful, but I really don't mean to be.
I've just got to do something different soon or I'll scream.

For instance, I want to go on a road trip really bad.
And I'd like to color my hair something really crazy.
I want to do makeup all the time instead of every once in a while.
I want to graduate from college. Like, yesterday.
I want to see my best friend who I haven't seen since the beginning of November.

I make all these plans, create all these lists and where have they gotten me?
I feel like I'm just in a different place than a lot of my old friends.
I'm not seeing anyone, I'm not engaged or married or reproducing.
Now, before I even go down that pathetic road, there are some serious benefits to being single.
I am independent, I do what I want, I like the freedom that comes along with being a young single woman.
Sometimes I just have to remind myself that there is no rush when it comes to dating or getting married. Just because everyone else is, doesn't mean I have to.
There is something very freeing in that.
I love going to school, even though it stresses me out, and a lot of my friends don't get to do that anymore.
I love my boring life. Because I avoid things like drugs and alcohol, I have stayed true to myself and my beliefs.
And you know what?
Tomorrow may just be a great day for a mini road trip.
Tomorrow I may just have to go buy some purple hair dye.
The makeup jobs will come because I know I'm pursuing what I'm supposed to be doing.
I will be done with my Associate's this summer. I can handle school until early August.
As for my best friend, there is nothing I can do about that. He's in Italy and that's that.
But how amazing is it that I get to do see him in August?
Sometimes I just have to type this out to sort out my sad mood and gain a more positive attitude.

With all my love, Morgan